Author Archives: Wizard Woodsy

Several years ago, before Cooper returned to college and earned his forestry degree, he was unsure of his path. Around that same time, I’d stumbled onto a book series, C.J. Box’s Joe Pickett series, about a Wyoming game warden. I shared the books with Coop, who quickly read through the series. He’d always loved theContinue reading “It’s Just a Book”

I’m a reluctant and mediocre cook. Oh, I can cook some things well enough, but I also have an incredible history of kitchen screw ups. One was even deemed my “best culinary f*ck up ever” by Cooper. I could try harder, but I really find NO joy in cooking. Yeah, I probably lose mom andContinue reading “Egg Rolling With It”

Today’s weather was a preview of spring as February winds down. It’d be great if we could just slide into spring — if winter were truly over — but that seems unlikely. No, it’s more likely that we will see more snow, but maybe no more two-week stretches of freeze-your-nose-hair cold. Regardless of what theContinue reading “Ice Age”

Blessed are they who mourn,for they will be comforted. I write from my perspective; I don’t presume to know what someone else feels. Usually. Just today, though, I’ve talked with at least seven other people living with pervasive grief. Real people. People I know. So today, I write for all who are grieving, wherever weContinue reading “Matthew 5:4”

It’s so easy to focus on sadness right now. It dominates my nights and days, and rightfully so. This sadness is pervasive; this is no power-through-it funk or snap-myself-out-of-it mood. This sadness is messy. I track it everywhere. Sometimes, it’s hard to see past the sadness. Sometimes, it’s hard to see the blessings. Luckily, IContinue reading “The Blessings”

“Go where your body says it can move today.” yoga wisdom from Becky I’m an introvert. Poster-girl level introvert. That’s not new. I’m not afraid of my own company; I treasure solitude. It’s crucial for my survival. None of that has changed; now I’m just a broken-hearted, freakishly sad introvert. In the past six months,Continue reading “Twisted Stork”

Facebook memories are happy little killers. Their prefered attack time is early morning, so they can mess with my head all day. Of course, not all memories are killers, but the killers are the attention-getters right now. The thing is, a year ago, this specific memory made me smile. I pray it’ll make me smileContinue reading “A Sign(ature)”

This week will make six months of “after.” After coming home to an empty driveway. After the coroner at my door. After the first screams and fledgling anguish. After suicide intruded into our lives. After Cooper. He’s been gone half a year. It doesn’t seem possible. I know he’s gone. I don’t expect to findContinue reading “My Village”

When I search for solitude and solace, when I’ve exhausted my patience with impossible demands, when I paw through the medicine cabinet of life in search of a salve for frayed nerves and a broken heart, I usually head outside. Sometimes, I wind around country roads with my window down, camera riding shotgun. Sometimes, IContinue reading “An Hour in Lane #1”

“How are you? No, really . . . how are you?” I’m . . . hmmm . . . not okay, but functional. Exhausted, but still showing up. Tormented, but working on acceptance. Sad. I’m just so damn sad. Fighting this fresh hell didn’t work, so I’m rolling with it. Rolling with the sadness, theContinue reading “02.17.21 ~~ Rolling With It”