Today was a good Monday. Today was a good day.
I’ve been planning to form a local chapter of The Compassionate Friends (TCF) since last year and have been actively working toward that goal since February, when I met TCF’s time-removed-from-loss requirement of 18 months. The process stalled for over a month, but last week’s peskiness paid off; I heard from TCF Friday, spoke to someone who makes things happen this morning, and by this evening, we were official! (You can ascertain my level of excitement by the rarely-seen-in-my-writing exclamation point.)
Things are feeling pretty real tonight. The need is real. My nerves are also real. I told a friend I’m mid-level terrified (100% true), but I’m running on faith—also real. I have support from all directions; the other moms who agreed to help with the group have been living their unrequested lives longer than I have. They know so much more than I do, have survived longer and more than I have. Honestly, I’m not sure I’m the right person for the job, but I do know we need a group and what I’m doing feels like what I’m supposed to be doing. Finally, I feel like I can wring good from tragedy.
I think Cooper approves. Here’s why: Yesterday, I had my sunroof open and closed, open and closed, open and closed several times as I ran errands. I’ve been driving this car for over a year and a half; we bought it just a couple weeks before Cooper died. He didn’t ride in it too many times (seems random, but is relevant). Late yesterday afternoon, I got in my car and opened my sunroof. The sun must’ve been just right, because I caught the glint of an unmistakably long red, wavy hair snagged in the seal of the sunroof.
Yes, really.
I open my sunroof whenever I can. I had that sucker open in the fall of 2020, spring and summer 2021, and now (finally) spring 2022, and yesterday, after all the wind of the past 19 months, there was Cooper’s beautiful hair, shining in the sun once again.
I’m taking it as approval, as hope, as a spooky positive sign. Coop was a prankster.
So, I’m entering blindly into this next challenge. Yes, I’m mid-level terrified. No, I don’t know what to expect. But I do know what I needed and still need. I have been blessed with a tremendous family, a strong and growing network of friends (including my Moms Who Know), and a band of sneaky angels who connect me to other moms. Maybe, just maybe, I can help other parents find what they need.
That sparkly red hair says “yes.”
Woods Writes 